A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
so my plan for halloween is to dress up as a Nazgul with my black horse and go trick or treating but instead of saying “trick or treat” i’ll either scream or hiss “Bagginssssssssss, Shhhhhhhire” and then ransack their villages in my search for the One Ring
u take a lot of selfies. do u think ur pretty or smoething? ur not
hi there, anon. i didn’t realize i took a lot of selfies. thanks for the info. so, your question was whether i think i’m pretty. you already answered that no, i am not.
and i have to agree, anon. i don’t think i’m pretty bc i’m not.
i always have a double chin.
i constantly look like i haven’t slept in a week bc of my dark circles
and, i always look sunburnt. idfk why
i have this white line across my nose that makeup can’t cover up
i have tons of wrinkles on my forehead. like what the hell? i’m 25
also, it’s the size of fucking texas
i still don’t know how to smile in pictures bc i hate my fucking teeth
my feet are flat. my hips are huge. my boobs are weird. i am covered in stretch marks. my voice is grating. my ears stick out two miles from my head. i am always fucking sweating and i’ve been asked if i was pregnant more times than i can count.
so, you’re right. i’m not pretty. i can’t stand the way i look.
which is why it’s so fucking important that i post “a lot” of selfies. bc, anon, you’d better fucking believe that if i look in the mirror that day and don’t cringe, i’m gonna take a fucking picture to save that tiny little second. and GOD FORBID i show the world that i posses a little self love every once in a fucking while.
TO ANYONE READING THIS: DON’T EVER LET SOMEONE MAKE YOU FEEL ASHAMED FOR LIKING THE WAY YOU LOOK—EVEN IF IT’S JUST FOR A SECOND. IF YOU LOOK NICE, YOU TAKE THAT FUCKING SELFIE AND YOU SHOW IT TO THE GOD DAMN WORLD BC THEY DESERVE TO SEE THE GOD/GODDESS YOU ARE!
that beard finally coming in? go ahead, bro. take a selfie.
you finally got that piercing you’ve been wanting? not really my style, but you’re fucking rocking it. take a selfie.
your boobs look awesome in that shirt? take a selfie.
you finally lose or gain that weight you’ve been working on? take a selfie.
your eyeliner look awesome? your new sunglasses make you look like a celebrity avoiding the paparazzi? you killing that tux? you feel a tiny, rare level of self love? you always on a high level of self love? you just like your face?
TAKE A MOTHAFUCKING SELFIE!
thanks for the question, anon. this one’s for you.
so yesterday i got home from my best friend’s birthday party and thirty seconds later my sister comes into my room and asks me if i can keep a secret and i said it depends and she pulled a fucking cat out from behind her back and i was like “i think we can keep this between us”
his name is peanut and hes this country’s most precious secret
well now 171 people know about this you had one job
“Romeo can’t really be blamed for Ophelia’s death.”—
Senior English major on a Shakespeare final. (via minininny)
WELL THEY’RE NOT WRONG
How about this, though?
[Editorial Note: This “theory” depends on believing the Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet take place contemporaneously. So, for the sake of argument, let’s all agree that the events of both plays occur in the Spring of 1517 (chosen because of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses, and the Reformational threads that run through Hamlet).]
See, in the Second Quarto and First Folio versions of Romeo and Juliet, a[n extremely minor] character appears with Romeo, Mercutio, and Benvolio at the Capulet’s Party (where, if you recall, Romeo meets Juliet for the first time).
Like Hamlet's Horatio, this Horatio is full of well-worded philosophical advice. He tells Romeo “And to sink in it should you burden love, too great oppression for a tender thing.”
Let’s imagine that Horatio has travelled down from Wittenberg (about 540 miles) to Verona for his Spring Break. He hears about some guys who like to party (because, let’s be honest, besides getting stabbed, partying is Mercutio’s main thing). So, he ends up crashing the Capulet’s ball with them.
He is then on the sidelines as Romeo and Juliet fall in love, Tybalt kills Mercutio, Romeo kills Tybalt, Romeo gets banished, and both lovers are found dead in Juliet’s tomb.
This tragedy fresh in his mind, he returns to Wittenberg at the end of what has turned out to be a decidedly un-radical Spring Break and discovers that his bestie Prince Hamlet is leaving for Elsinore Castle because he’s just gotten news that his father, the King, is dead.
On the trip up (another ~375 miles), Horatio recounts the tragic romance he just witnessed in Verona. He advises (as he is wont to do) Hamlet not to mix love and revenge.
Hamlet takes Horatio’s advice to heart, breaking up with Ophelia so that he can focus is energy on discovering and punishing his father’s killer:
HAMLET Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the force of honesty can translate beauty into his likeness: this was sometime a paradox, but now the time gives it proof. I did love you once.
Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.
You should not have believed me; for virtue cannot so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it: I loved you not.
Ophelia - burdened by the perceived loss of Hamlet’s love and his murder of her father - goes mad and drowns herself.
You see, if Romeo had waited literally a minute and thirty seconds longer (31 iambic pentametrical lines) - he, Juliet, Ophelia (and possibly the rest of the Hamlet characters) would have made it.
so I had to make a lamp for pottery and sculpture II so I worked on my project all day today and every time people looked at me weird bc they were expecting like a bedazzled lampshades or some shit and I’m not about that so I got finished and went over to my teacher holding this huge motherfucker
and everyone was just staring at me like “what the fuck is this thing??? what???” and then I plugged it in
One of the few things I haven’t minded about Frozen's success is the fact that it's helped Idina Menzel make a stronger leap from stage-fame to more mainstream-fame than the film version of RENT or her stint on Glee did.
Still, while “Let it Go” is a decent song - largely because of Idina’s powerhouse voice - it’s basically a poor man’s “Defying Gravity”.
So those of you who love “Let it Go” but have yet to hear the original Broadway recording of “Defying Gravity”, listen and experience a powerful, life-changing eargasm.